I am trying to ease myself back into routines and monotony but boy is it hard. After two weeks breathing fresh mountain air, swimming in fresh blue lakes and eating whatever I please, drinking more than I should and laughing harder than I have in an age I find myself hit with heavy lethargy and a very clear revelation. I Do Not Want To Be Here Anymore. Unfortunately I have no alternative at the moment. Being here is a means to an end. And there must be an end so it will be alright eventually.
It was cool last night which was a welcome relief from the staggering hot days and sleepless nights. Everything seems so much harder without sleep. But I was still restless and anxious. It happens and it passes. But I found it difficult to not let it consume me. I have started this year without any direction. I know what I want from my life and ultimately it involves food, I just don't have the foggiest idea about how to start. The path I was on has been ripped away from me thanks to Government cutbacks and a huge ten fold increase in fees. I can no longer afford to study the science of bread and the subtleties of pastry. Some weeks I can barely make rent. The problem is not that I have no choices, it is that I am paralyzed with the weight of too many all of them too indirect I feel to take me where I want to go.
So I took a step back and began baking. Because that is what I know.
The pantry in our flat has been neglected of late. The three flatmates scattered to various points across the Christmas break no one has really done any cooking for a while. I found some triple milled flour secluded in a corner. There was a lonely egg in the fridge, not the freshest but still useful. A little packet of fleur de sel and a final dribble of vanilla extract and we were in business. The only problem was the chocolate. My housemates are in the infuriating habit of eating my cooking chocolate as soon as I buy it but they always leave a row and a half. Why? To the flip knows. It drives me flipping mad. Luckily drunk Ruby in a fit of rage some weeks back had taken the remaining rows of cooking chocolate and squirreled them away in a container marked raisins. Drunk me is a Wiley bitch. Soon my hands smelt like chocolate and our house smelt like cookies.
- I think it is right that my first recipe to this blog should be chocolate chip cookies. I know, how unoriginal. Every baker has at least one chocolate chip cookie in their arsenal. But so they should. There is comfort in a chocolate chip cookie. You know what to expect. I like them warm out of the oven.
Dark Chocolate Cookies With Fleur de Sel
- 185grams butter, room temperature
- 170grams brown sugar
- 200grams sugar
- 450grams plain flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 tablespoon molasses
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 2 large eggs, room temperature
- 2 cups chocolate, chopped
- 1 1/2 teaspoon fleur de sel
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F/175 degrees C and line two baking sheets with non stick baking paper.
- Cream the butter with both sugars until creamy and light and fluffy.
- In a separate large bowl combine flour, salt, and soda together. Set aside.
- To the butter and sugar mixture add the vanilla and molasses and beat until combined.
- Add the eggs, one at a time beating each until just incorporated. Add the flour mixture a little at a time until almost combined. Mix in chocolate.
- Using an ice cream scoop, scoop the dough into balls, and place on baking sheet. Keep about 5cm apart. Cook for 12 minutes or until lightly brown on the edges. Cookies will look very puffed. Let cookies cool on pan for 5 minutes and then remove onto cooking rack.
Adapted from Garnish & Glaze